Detaching from the outcome in your business is a valuable skill

When you practice detachment in your business, you are better able to weather the ups and downs as a business owner, without it affecting your sense of self-worth or causing you to seek out “reasons” for every problem.

When you’re detached from the outcome, you can focus on showing up as your best self without getting too invested in any specific results. This post will show you how you can practice detachment and release your attachment to outcomes.

What does it mean to practice detachment in your business?

For those of us who started businesses to do work we love, we may feel deeply connected — even attached — to our business.

We may think of our business as our life’s work or personal mission statement, a deep reflection of who we are. 

So when we put ourselves “out there” for our business, get visible and market ourselves,  when someone says “No,” it can feel like they are rejecting us as a person, not just a business. 

We take it personally when we’ve made our business results mean something about us AND when we’ve attached to our results.

How attachment shows up in your business

Attachment shows up in your business any time you feel you are attached to or dependent on the results for some reason. 

This includes being attached to…

• That prospective client you love becoming a paying client
• Making or exceeding 6 figures on your launch 
• Getting exactly 10 clients in the next 30 (or some arbitrary number) days 

Usually when we are attached to a result, that result is the only acceptable outcome; anything else is a failure or unacceptable.

And if you deem something as unacceptable or a failure, you might start to believe that YOU are unacceptable or a failure.

Attachment can cause some rough emotional moments in business — extreme highs when you hit those numbers and extreme lows when you don’t.  

That’s not really a sustainable way to thrive in business and can be very taxing to those of us who are highly sensitive entrepreneurs.

Practicing detachment = higher self worth

And it can easily hold us back from taking the actions we need, because we are so hyperfocused on achieving a certain result.

Alternatively, when you detach yourself from the outcome, you take the pressure off and allow yourself to move forward, free of the fear of failure.

Detachment from the results can look like:

• You post on social or launch a new offer — without attaching yourself to the likes and comments. 
• You don’t take a potential client rejection as a reflection your own personal value or worth. 
• You don’t overly rely on others’ validation to make you feel good.
• You aren’t trying to coerce or control others or any specific outcome.

When you are truly detached from the results, you aren’t relying on others to give you a feeling of completeness. You aren’t sourcing your worth from external metrics, like your number of followers, your conversion rates, or how many clients you have.

When you are truly detached, your self-worth doesn’t falter. You know you can handle any outcome and you’re willing to take the actions that will get you there.

Detaching from outcomes keeps your self-worth high

Imagine basing your worth on whether or not that next person signs up to work with you. Or basing your value as a business owner on whether or not you can have a 6 figure launch.

Or only considering yourself “good enough” if you get a certain number of clients or even a certain number of followers. Yikes!

Many of us do this, despite it causing a lot of inner turmoil.

If we only base our internal worth off our external results, we are doing it wrong. 

We’re definitely not feeling good in the process. We may quit too soon. We might be too hard on ourselves. We won’t trust ourselves. 

And we do a disservice to those people who are showing up for us, when we can’t be as authentic as we’d like.

Here’s an example

Say you set your client goal at 10 clients. You have 4 currently. 

But you’re so focused on not having those other 6, you end up not serving your 4 clients as well as you could. 

Whereas if you simply focused on serving those 4 clients to the best of your abilityi, you’d be much more likely to keep them as longer-term clients, get solid referrals, and create overall positive experiences for you and for your clients! 

Does practicing detachment mean you shouldn’t care or set goals?

So does this mean you shouldn’t set goals for your business, that you should just live in the moment, and stop caring about things?

No. At least, not in my mind. (Insert sigh of relief for those of us Type As.)

You can still set goals, plan ahead, and care deeply about your clients and your business.

It simply means that you don’t have to make the results and outcomes mean anything about you personally.

Instead, you focus on showing up powerfully in the present moment, detaching from the end result, and continuing to live your life and to enjoy the ride, knowing that you can handle whatever comes your way.

How to use the art of detachment in your business

Practicing detachment can feel like a esoteric concept. So let’s talk about some tangible ways you can practice detaching from the outcomes in your business.

1. Connect to the overall “why” behind what you’re doing.

Doing something just for the sake of results is empty. It’s like starting a business just to make money. While making money is a part of it, there has to be a deeper reason behind why you want to start this business, launch this program, etc. When you know your “why,” you will also realize that there are many, many ways to achieve the “how”; and this frees up a lot of mental space.

2. Learn to value the process, not just the results.

The value of an experience isn’t entirely in the results. (Like the value of dating isn’t only in getting married; the value of doing consultations isn’t just signing a client. The value is in the learning.) Every time you try something new, you’re learning and evolving. This is an invaluable experience you could not get without taking the action. 

3. Find joy in the experience.

If you’re only waiting to experience joy once you achieve a result, you’re missing out on all the joy along the way. When you make the journey itself fun and enjoyable, you feel good along the way, without putting so much pressure on the end result to deliver. 

4. Watch your perceptions and assumptions.

While 4 clients to you can seem like a failure, 4 clients to someone else can be a complete success. The only difference is perspective. How can you focus on what you have already achieved? How can you practice gratitude for what you have instead of concern for what is lacking?

5. Work on your self-worth.

If you don’t get the results you want, does that mean you failed? Only if you think you did. External results don’t mean anything about our value or who we are as a person. If your self-perception is tied to external results, it’s time to focus on building your own sense of self-worth.

(And don’t blame yourself entirely, American society and corporate culture rewards us based on our results; but your worth as a human being is totally independent of that and sometimes you might need to remind yourself of that fact.)

The more you can detach from the results, the more empowered you will feel

Like so many things in life, in business there is rarely no ONE right answer or right outcome. There are many paths and many outcomes, some of which you won’t realize until you are there. 

The more comfortable you can be with uncertainty and the more detached you can be from your results, the more you free you are: Free to take the most aligned action at the time, which paradoxically, often leads to the greatest success.

When you’re detached, you’re also more likely to see the full picture, including what you might shift or change for next time.

How to start practicing detachment in your business

If the idea of detachment in your business feels foreign, you don’t need to revamp your whole business or change how you’re doing everything. 

Here are a few ways you can start detaching from the outcome right now:

• On your next consult, practice being completely present on a discovery call without being attached to the yes. Do not try to convince or “get” the client.
• On social media, post with intention and heart, and then take a break. Resist the urge to keep checking in to see who liked it or commented. Allow yourself to get totally engrossed in something else.
• If you’re launching, focus your time and attention on your next right step. So whether that means writing an email or hosting a webinar, put all your focus on that thing, and let go of any worries about the outcome.

Once you detach your self-worth from the metrics and know that you can navigate whatever arises, you become more willing and able to move forward confidently in your business.