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You’ve heard the advice to “be visible,” but what does that really mean?
You may have heard the advice that you need to “be visible.” But what does visibility really mean? And why is it so important to each of us as humans?
In today’s day and age, sharing your voice and being visible is important, but visibility is so much bigger than just showing up on social media. Visibility, aka “being seen”, is a human desire that we all have, on one level or another. We want to be seen for who we are, we want to be understood, like we belong.
Unfortunately, the fear of being seen can be a major challenge to visibility. Being visible is often one of the biggest challenges when it comes to sharing one’s creative work, especially when it has felt threatening in the past.
In this post, we’ll talk more about what visibility really means, common visibility myths and blocks, and how you can ease into more visibility,in a way that works for you.
What is visibility? It’s a real human need.
Visibility isn’t just for folks who want to be Instagram influencers.
All of us, especially those who are creatives, business owners, thought leaders, or doing influential work, need to be visible. But the need to be seen goes beyond our professional aspirations. It matters to who we are as humans.
Being seen is a basic human need for all of us. It’s what helps us feel accepted, worthy, and important. From childhood, we rely on those around us to reflect back to us that they recognize and understand us. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs shows that we all need belonging and recognizing to feel like we matter.
When we are seen and understood, we develop a stronger sense of self. When we’re not seen — especially when we’re not seen as our authentic selves — we often adapt by hiding ourselves, filtering what we say, or pretending to be someone we’re not.
It’s not about being visible but being seen as your authentic self
At the core, visibility is about feeling we are known and recognized as our true selves in the presence of others. Unfortunately, the fear of being seen is quite common.
Depending on our childhood experiences, being visible can either feel safe or threatening to our systems. (That’s why some folks have no trouble showing up and speaking their minds while others may find it so scary and debilitating.)
Your level of comfort with visibility may change depending on the arena. You may find you can easily be your authentic self with family and friends, but when it comes to your work, you feel like you’re faking it. (Or vice versa!)
Being visible — and being seen as your authentic self — is what allows you to share your true self and your gifts with the world. And it’s what makes you unique! When you are 100% yourself, no one and nothing can replicate you.
Common myths about visibility
Visibility has become a buzzword recently, especially in the days of Tiktok and Instagram influencers. However, visibility is more than being on camera, and even more than just “being seen.” Here are some common myths about visibility:
1. Being visible means you need to be everywhere, all the time.
Being visible does not mean you need to constantly share everything about you and your life. Being visible is about being yourself, so that when you do choose to share, it’s from a real, grounded, and boundaried place. Being authentically visible means there is congruence between who you really are and how you show up to others.
2. Being visible means you need to emulate someone else.
Copying others because they seem to be doing well or are popular or are accepted is the opposite of being truly seen. This is about being seen for the unique being that you are and all that you bring to the table. It’s not about popularity.
3. Being visible means you need to be performative.
Many content online right now IS performative. But true visibility is not performative. True visibility is being REAL. Part of this work meas you need to be comfortable with being yourself and less reliant on getting approval from others.
4. Being visible means you need to follow the trends.
Visibility is not a trend. It’s a basic human need. Following trends is playing the game of an algorithm. Visibility goes much deeper than that. Trends don’t need to be involved at all.
It’s simple: Visibility is being your real self, and being witnessed as such. That is all!
Performative visibility is not real
Performative visibility may serve the Instagram algorithm but it doesn’t serve you as a human, nor does it serve those around you who really want to know you. If you’ve been approaching visibility from a performative lens, it’s time to get really clear on what you actually want and align your thoughts, words, and actions.
When you force yourself to “get visible” by posting a daily reel or doing a TikTok you really don’t want to do, that’s also performative visibility. What’s more important and frankly, requires a lot deeper work, is being fully integrated with who you are and intentional and real about how you show up in the world, in every place from the small talk to a ted talk to a talk with your partner.
In order to show up and be seen as your true self, you must unpack the layers of visibility and get to the core of the issue. That’s where the real work lies.
The work – and the layers – of being seen
As I mentioned before, visibility isn’t just how you show up on Instagram. There are several layers being visible.
- First there’s the outer layer, which encompasses how and where you “show up” and put yourself out there. (This includes things like your website, your portfolio, your LinkedIn profile, Instagram account or personal blog.)
- Then there’s the relational layer, which is how others perceive and receive you. This includes your interactions with others and whether you’re being your authentic self when you do so.
- There’s also the innermost layer of visibility. which is how you think and feel about being visible. This is about the emotions, sensations and how your nervous system handles being visible.
Again, you may have different comfort levels with the different layers. Often in my work with clients, they are comfortable being seen and perceived a certain way, but they don’t yet feel safe or comfortable with being seen for who they are at their core.
In other cases, these clients may be dealing with “mindset blocks” such as perfectionism or comparisonitis, which are often masking their deeper fears around being seen.
There aren’t many coaches or programs who address the full scope of visibility, from the external pieces (like where and how to show up), to the relational pieces (like how authentic you’re being) to innermost work of nervous system safety. My approach integrates all three layers using the Shine Visibility Method in Show Up and Shine.
Your visibility and your voice 🤝
Being visible is about being seen. Your voice is about being heard. The two are connected, but can be out of sync.
You can be visible without really expressing yourself: showing up, posting, or participating in a conversation while staying surface-level. You can have a clear voice internally, but not use it publicly. In both cases, something will feel “off”.
Your voice is what gives your visibility meaning and context. Being seen gets noticed, but being heard creates understanding. When you express your voice, people actually know what you think, what you stand for, and how you see the world. Adding your (authentic) voice to your visibility builds real, strong connections.
Like visibility, sharing your voice can also feel risky. You’re putting yourself “out there”, vulnerably, in another way. So the ultimate goal isn’t just to be comfortable with being visible, but to align your visibility and your voice, so you’re not only seen, but understood.
Visibility is a practice, not a personality trait
Visibility isn’t something that’s reserved for people who want to be influencers or build big personal brands. Visibility is for everyone; all humans, regardless of who you are or what you do.
Being visible isn’t reserved for those who are naturally confident, outgoing, or comfortable being in the spotlight. (Imagine if only those folks were seen and heard!) Even if you are an introvert or highly sensitive, being visible is important and achievable.
Like anything else, being visible, especially authentically and intentionally, is a practice. The more you allow yourself to be seen, whether sharing an idea, speaking up for yourself, or expressing an opinion, the more familiar it becomes.
A more accessible way to think about being visible
Visibility isn’t about being everywhere, always being “on”, or even being on social media! Visibility is about being seen for who you truly are in a way that feels safe, true, and sustainable for you… which may look totally different than it does for someone else.
Instead of thinking about being visible as “doing more,” think about it as releasing the resistance that stands in the way of you showing up as yourself, in ways that feel aligned with who you truly are, while intentionally choosing how, where and when you share.
You don’t have to force yourself to show up when you don’t feel like it. The goal is to be more of yourself, so then when you do show up, you can be seen and known for who you are, and connect with the path, people, and opportunities that are right for you.
Coaching to support you in being visible
Being visible (and using your voice) is how you become your fully expressed self in your work and life
Being visible — and especially being comfortable with being seen — does not come easy to many people. If that’s you, you’re not alone, and there’s nothing wrong with you.
That’s where visibility coaching can help. You can learn to be confident and comfortable with being seen, whether it’s in your business, for your creative work, or in your career.
If you’re just beginning your journey with visibility, and struggle with the fear of being seen, you might want to check out this free guide to help.
