If there’s something you’ve been waiting for, why not give yourself permission?

Years ago, I was waffling on a decision to take a new job or stay in my current job. I had made a pro and con list, discussed it with friends, and analyzed it to pieces in my head. When I still couldn’t make a decision, I reached out to a coach for help.

“It sounds like you are asking for permission to quit,” she replied.

She was right. I was asking for permission. And I had reached out to her specifically because I thought she would give it to me. I realized then that I had give myself permission to make my own decision.

Are you waiting for permission?

It’s very common, especially as women, that we find ourselves waiting for permission to do something that’s new or out of our comfort zone.

In fact, women are often hesitant to embrace themselves as experts despite having the knowledge and skills. (We’re less likely to apply for jobs we aren’t 100% qualified for than men — and therefore less likely to get them.)

The sad truth is, we often stand in our own way by waiting for some type of external permission or validation before moving forward.

Sounds a little like self-sabotage, doesn’t it? Somehow we have learned to create excuses for ourselves not to move in the direction that would best serve us. Instead, we give away our power to others to decide.

Signs you need to give yourself permission

If any of the following scenarios sound familiar, it may be time to give yourself permission:

• You know what you would like to do… but you feel unqualified or not good enough to even try it.
• You would love to start something new… but you know (insert person or people here) would not approve or might judge you.
• Your body or intuition is guiding you toward something… but you fear that taking that path would result in failure, and you can’t bear even the idea of that.

You could be seeking permission on anything — from changing careers or asking for a raise or starting a business. Or you could be waiting on an award or certificate or piece of paper that makes you feel “legit” or credible in some way.

Anytime you find yourself saying, “I can’t do that until…” you’re waiting on permission. These thoughts and beliefs are keeping you stuck right where you are.

3 steps to give yourself permission

So when you find yourself stuck and waiting powerlessly, notice what you’re waiting for permission to do.

1. First, uncover what you’re waiting for permission “for”

To find what you’re waiting for permission on, ask yourself:

• What action am I being called to take, but fearful of?
• Who or what is holding me back?
• What do I fear to be true if I take this path?

2. Second, reclaim your authority over yourself

It’s time to take back your power and your authority over yourself.

Realize that you are the ultimate expert on you, and as such, you are responsible for your life, your health, your energy, your path, your happiness.

3. Third, give yourself permission, explicitly

Now, acting from your own expertise, write yourself a permission slip to do that very thing you’ve been waiting on. Literally, write it on paper and put it somewhere you can see it. “I, __________, give myself permission to ___________.”

4. Check in with yourself

Notice how you feel once you’ve given yourself the permission to do (or not do) the thing that you desire.

What is that feeling? Is it freedom, expansiveness, excitement? Allow yourself to feel those feelings now that you’ve opened the door for yourself to experience it.

Give yourself the permission you’ve been waiting for

Giving yourself permission means stepping up and making decisions for yourself.

This can be scary, because the stakes are high. And the fear seems real. (Even though, in most cases, the fear is entirely overblown.)

Going boldly where you have not yet gone is terrifying!

Yet the only way to truly take control of our own lives is to honor ourselves by making decisions that support our interests, passions, and growth.

Instead of making excuses and waiting on others to give you permission, give it to YOURSELF.  Permission to try. Permission to succeed. Permission to fail. And permission to change direction if it doesn’t work out as expected.

Where in your life have you been waiting for permission? Let me know in the comments!